Sunday, 8 March 2015

CL M4M: NSA vs. B&G. Do Digits Fly?

(Note, this post has a handy glossary, below).

While I know genuinely amazing stuff has been done on it I've never made a complete transaction on Craigslist, not even for an iPod case, but I enjoy reading CL personal ads for their transparent, cross-sectional (though perhaps not at all so perfectly cross-sectional) view of society.  It's a clear city-by-city-wide view into the naked thoughts, wants and needs of humanity.

From what I've seen, the M2M personals frequently support the gay male reputation for wanting anonymous or hook-up sex.  Here's a line from one: "looking for similar guy to stop by, do our thing and then leave."

While the "Right Way" to be a gay man doesn't exist, the difference between "no strings" and "leave afterwards" should probably not need to be anvil-subtle.  If someone demands that I must expect to "leave" no matter what, right in their first post trying to attract me, then why don't I just put on my nice house slippers and a video, and open a bottle of wine ?

For me right now, it's simple: why wouldn't anyone looking for a new intimate interaction with a person want want to leave the door open, if just a bit, in case a hook-up turns into a bigger thing ?  What am I missing ?

Is it a macho thing, ie. a "play it cool" move ? A gay community thing ?   Or is it a thing with people that frequently hook-up that helps prevent tricks from getting the idea of not ever leaving ?

Perhaps the secret is that it just always goes unsaid that digits get exchanged when right is right.

From what I've seen on CL, there seems to be more "fuck me then leave" posts than "no strings, but if we hit it off" posts.

But perhaps that's more a commentary on the cross-section of folks posting in the CL personals, but nobody's judging anyone here.  I'm just a gentle, single, funny masc vers GWM in the city... without a Craigslist personal ad.

CL - Craigslist
M4M - Man(/Men) for Man(/Men) for romantic or platonic purposes, depending on ad location
NSA - No Strings Attached, meaning that there should be no expectation of pursuing any sort of ongoing relationship beyond initial engagement, but does not preclude the possibility
B&G - Blow and Go. a new acronym invented exclusively for this blog's title, to create a comedic alliteration effect (pronounce that "affect" .. see what I did there ? ;)